Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
so what's new?
i have to admit it has been a while since i wrote the last post and not a whole lot has changed but i guess it's time to share some of the insides god has taught me here.
i just came out of some rougher days.
i have struggled with being here and not having my close friends around me.
last weekend i went home to see family and friends again.
because i had to leave in a rush to get to hankensbüttel i was not able to say good bye to any of my friends. it had to happen over the phone and even if i was not willing to admit it, it made me really sad. so last weekend i enjoyed the time i had with friends and with my family. i arrived on friday evening and went straight to one of my best friends party. it was great and i was glad that even between all the fun and well lets say a careful "drinking", i ended up having a good and deep discussion with some of my friends about our faith. i have to admit that it has been challenging in many ways to talk about my faith and the faith of my friends. we do not always agree and i have been more the radical one so far. but i love that we had the chance to talk about god and lift our minds towards the one who died for our sins on the cross.
the saturday i spent most of my time with my parents. i was surprised how positive it was. don't get me wrong, i love my parents and they have been one of the biggest blessings in my life. mum and dad if you read this right now, i love you ;)
but coming back from the ship and later from syria i had struggled a bit with family life, so i was a bit scared about the weekend as i was not sure what to expect. but man i tell you, it was amazing. i loved every single conversation i had with my mum and with my dad. here in hankensbüttel i have no christians around me, which makes it hard from time to time, so i was very happy when i was able to share some of my thoughts that relate to my faith with my parents.
as i needed some new things for my job and for me personal we went shopping.
i have to say that this was the first time in my life going shopping with my parents. it was a funny afternoon and i am so thankful for the time i got to spent with them.
sunday was a good day as well. i went to my church and was very happy about the message. i haven't heard a good message in weeks, so i was very glad that this time it was something that challenged me and made me wane be a better person.
my parents drove me back to hankensbüttel, so i was able to take some more things with me. now i have at least 8 of my close friends with me: Canon A1, Canon AE1-Program, Diana F+, LOMO, Action Sampler, Canon EOS5, Canon 1000F and a more or less boring digital camera ;)
why do i share all of the weekend with you?
well i want you to know that i enjoyed my time back home and i would like you to know that i had not expected that such a short weekend could go so well.
sometimes i believe we just have to hang our expectations on a nail and jump into the whole that lies upfront.
---
but now a bit about my last week.
as i had such a great weekend back home i felt sad to leave again.
as i arrived in hankensbüttel i had to realize that that was it.
i now live here and i won't get home so soon again. i mean in some ways i am stuck here and i have nobody around that knows me for who i really am or that shares the same desires than i have. believe me normally i would be fine, i would suck it up like a butter cup like one of my friends jen from the ship always liked to say. but i am not in a normal situation in the moment and i started to react on it in a intense way. monday was a hard day because i just felt like i needed somebody to talk but there was none. later the day i called one of my best friends and we had a good talk but in some ways i was not able to fully express myself. i felt like i am not able to put into words what laid so heavy on my heart.
only a day later at work i realized what it was: i miss my friends, more than i want to admit. i am a person that needs constant reminder that i am loved and appreciated.
at that point i lived here for 3 weeks and i haven't heard from my friends in a long time. all i needed was a phone call, a letter or something from my friends. i felt alone and just empty. i lifted these feelings up to god and asked him to fill me. just a day later i received two letters, and again a day later i got two more.
i felt ashamed for feeling like my friends had forgotten me. i knew it was not true but thats how i felt. now i praise god for the friendships that i do not deserve.
as most of the week was more or less a bad week, i was very happy that with thursday came a U turn. we had a barbecue after work and a good time of fellowship. i love the company that i work in. all of them are very unique personalities and very nice in many ways. the work is fun, hard but fun.
i am looking forward to the next month's where i will learn much more about my future job. in the moment we are building a house for the southern part of germany. we put the walls together and cut the wood for the roof. everything then will be driven down to a town close to stuttgart and we will build it up there. if everything goes well we will be driving down the end of this month.
---
ok so things with family are great, work is amazing and my friends love me. so is there anything more that i could add? yes there is.
i shared with some of my friends that i was looking for a church and that the one i went to the last time was not really what i was looking for. and again god has shown me his love in just an incredible way. a good friend in mosbach did some research and send me a link to a baptist church 25km away from here. i went on the webpage and looked up the information. i called them up and asked if they have anybody driving to the church from my area, they said no but assured me that they would ask around in the church if somebody would like to pick me up. i send the person who was on the phone my details and in my mind closed the case. just a few minutes later i got a reply from on of the guys from the church telling me he would pick me up this sunday at 9:30am. wow, just wow.
here i sit now, me a sinner in so many ways and all i get are blessings.
who am i to deserve all this? no really honestly everything in the last months had been handed to me. yes i had to put afford into some things but most of it just happened and now i sit here, knowing what i will be doing for the next three years, realizing i have friends that love me and feeling so loved by god. who am i to deserve all this?
friends i tell you god loves us no matter what. we might make bad decisions or take a wrong turn in live but instead of turning away from us god will bless us and with doing so he will show us his love and hopefully we will return to him again and again. we are like little children trying to steal the sweets that mummy placed in a secret place so that we would not ruin our teeth.
my mum used to place them in a very high cupboard over the fridge. as soon as mum was out we would try to climb up there to at least get some of the nice sweets. now from time to time she caught us doing so and of course she told us off. well you see god sometimes if he sees us stealing candy will hand us a new and better candy bar than the one we just stole. i have learned this lesson so many times in my life. what ever we try to achieve in our life's if it is money, fame,...., fill in the blank, will never be as good as what god has for us.
i tell you guys i could go on for hours right now telling you about gods love for us. if you are not a christian and you read this right now get the next bible you can find and read John 3, 16 and i hope that the one who is described there will touch your heart. know that who ever you are i am praying for you right now.
be blessed and be a blessing
sebi
i just came out of some rougher days.
i have struggled with being here and not having my close friends around me.
last weekend i went home to see family and friends again.
because i had to leave in a rush to get to hankensbüttel i was not able to say good bye to any of my friends. it had to happen over the phone and even if i was not willing to admit it, it made me really sad. so last weekend i enjoyed the time i had with friends and with my family. i arrived on friday evening and went straight to one of my best friends party. it was great and i was glad that even between all the fun and well lets say a careful "drinking", i ended up having a good and deep discussion with some of my friends about our faith. i have to admit that it has been challenging in many ways to talk about my faith and the faith of my friends. we do not always agree and i have been more the radical one so far. but i love that we had the chance to talk about god and lift our minds towards the one who died for our sins on the cross.
the saturday i spent most of my time with my parents. i was surprised how positive it was. don't get me wrong, i love my parents and they have been one of the biggest blessings in my life. mum and dad if you read this right now, i love you ;)
but coming back from the ship and later from syria i had struggled a bit with family life, so i was a bit scared about the weekend as i was not sure what to expect. but man i tell you, it was amazing. i loved every single conversation i had with my mum and with my dad. here in hankensbüttel i have no christians around me, which makes it hard from time to time, so i was very happy when i was able to share some of my thoughts that relate to my faith with my parents.
as i needed some new things for my job and for me personal we went shopping.
i have to say that this was the first time in my life going shopping with my parents. it was a funny afternoon and i am so thankful for the time i got to spent with them.
sunday was a good day as well. i went to my church and was very happy about the message. i haven't heard a good message in weeks, so i was very glad that this time it was something that challenged me and made me wane be a better person.
my parents drove me back to hankensbüttel, so i was able to take some more things with me. now i have at least 8 of my close friends with me: Canon A1, Canon AE1-Program, Diana F+, LOMO, Action Sampler, Canon EOS5, Canon 1000F and a more or less boring digital camera ;)
why do i share all of the weekend with you?
well i want you to know that i enjoyed my time back home and i would like you to know that i had not expected that such a short weekend could go so well.
sometimes i believe we just have to hang our expectations on a nail and jump into the whole that lies upfront.
---
but now a bit about my last week.
as i had such a great weekend back home i felt sad to leave again.
as i arrived in hankensbüttel i had to realize that that was it.
i now live here and i won't get home so soon again. i mean in some ways i am stuck here and i have nobody around that knows me for who i really am or that shares the same desires than i have. believe me normally i would be fine, i would suck it up like a butter cup like one of my friends jen from the ship always liked to say. but i am not in a normal situation in the moment and i started to react on it in a intense way. monday was a hard day because i just felt like i needed somebody to talk but there was none. later the day i called one of my best friends and we had a good talk but in some ways i was not able to fully express myself. i felt like i am not able to put into words what laid so heavy on my heart.
only a day later at work i realized what it was: i miss my friends, more than i want to admit. i am a person that needs constant reminder that i am loved and appreciated.
at that point i lived here for 3 weeks and i haven't heard from my friends in a long time. all i needed was a phone call, a letter or something from my friends. i felt alone and just empty. i lifted these feelings up to god and asked him to fill me. just a day later i received two letters, and again a day later i got two more.
i felt ashamed for feeling like my friends had forgotten me. i knew it was not true but thats how i felt. now i praise god for the friendships that i do not deserve.
as most of the week was more or less a bad week, i was very happy that with thursday came a U turn. we had a barbecue after work and a good time of fellowship. i love the company that i work in. all of them are very unique personalities and very nice in many ways. the work is fun, hard but fun.
i am looking forward to the next month's where i will learn much more about my future job. in the moment we are building a house for the southern part of germany. we put the walls together and cut the wood for the roof. everything then will be driven down to a town close to stuttgart and we will build it up there. if everything goes well we will be driving down the end of this month.
---
ok so things with family are great, work is amazing and my friends love me. so is there anything more that i could add? yes there is.
i shared with some of my friends that i was looking for a church and that the one i went to the last time was not really what i was looking for. and again god has shown me his love in just an incredible way. a good friend in mosbach did some research and send me a link to a baptist church 25km away from here. i went on the webpage and looked up the information. i called them up and asked if they have anybody driving to the church from my area, they said no but assured me that they would ask around in the church if somebody would like to pick me up. i send the person who was on the phone my details and in my mind closed the case. just a few minutes later i got a reply from on of the guys from the church telling me he would pick me up this sunday at 9:30am. wow, just wow.
here i sit now, me a sinner in so many ways and all i get are blessings.
who am i to deserve all this? no really honestly everything in the last months had been handed to me. yes i had to put afford into some things but most of it just happened and now i sit here, knowing what i will be doing for the next three years, realizing i have friends that love me and feeling so loved by god. who am i to deserve all this?
friends i tell you god loves us no matter what. we might make bad decisions or take a wrong turn in live but instead of turning away from us god will bless us and with doing so he will show us his love and hopefully we will return to him again and again. we are like little children trying to steal the sweets that mummy placed in a secret place so that we would not ruin our teeth.
my mum used to place them in a very high cupboard over the fridge. as soon as mum was out we would try to climb up there to at least get some of the nice sweets. now from time to time she caught us doing so and of course she told us off. well you see god sometimes if he sees us stealing candy will hand us a new and better candy bar than the one we just stole. i have learned this lesson so many times in my life. what ever we try to achieve in our life's if it is money, fame,...., fill in the blank, will never be as good as what god has for us.
i tell you guys i could go on for hours right now telling you about gods love for us. if you are not a christian and you read this right now get the next bible you can find and read John 3, 16 and i hope that the one who is described there will touch your heart. know that who ever you are i am praying for you right now.
be blessed and be a blessing
sebi
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