Life goes on

Hey there, "life goes on" isn't that a phrase we all have heard over and over again in our lives?
No sure your right life does go on but often in a whole different way and even a different direction.

Back in 2010, when i was still updating this blog i had a rough time in uni.
Don't get me wrong i was still enjoying life in general, just not the future i was aiming at.
 To make things a bit easier to understand, here is a small sum up of what life was looking like for me:

I woke up early to get ready for Uni. my first class would start around 8am.
 We had two seminars each day lasting around 4 hours each.
so i was in Uni from 8am until 17pm and to be honest most of the time beyond.
we sometimes had days when we had 12 hours Uni, you see for me thats a lot ;)
After Uni i would get back home and do some more studies for the stuff they tried to ponder in my little brain.

after a while it became clear to me that i wasn't enjoying what i was doing and that i needed a change. so i decided to quit, which wasn't an easy decision.
it took me months to admit to myself that i wasn't going the right track for me and that it was OK to quit.
you see i would describe myself as a fighter and not a guy who gives up.
But hey all people out there who question their studies in the moment, it is ok to quit "life goes on".

and it did. after i quit i went back home and started to work in a institution for mentally challenged people with drug addiction.
i ended up working there for almost one and a half years before i would know what was next but let me get there slowly.
after i went home there was the big question "whats next" in the room. my parents motivated me to apply for photography which i ended up doing and failed.
it became clear to me that i wanted to focus on art and that i wanted to do something creative and with the gifts god gave me (still not sure if i am so gifted ;)

 i had moved out back home after half a year and lived in a living community with designers and photographers that taught me a lot. it became clear to me that i would apply for "industrial design" here in essen at the "folkwang universität der Künste".
but i tell you folks it was a very long and hard way for me.

ok, i'm gone have a cut here as i am hungry and i don't want you to be bored to much in my first post after almost two years. so enjoy the brake and come back later for more.

 be blessed and be a blessing Sebi

the weirdest thing ever happened today

ok we all know that sometimes things tend to happen in our lives that we can't explain so easily but what happened to me today is by far one of the strangest and most exiting things ever, here the story.

back on the ship i was given the opportunity to be part of a photo shoot. we had a local photographer on board from australia and on a sunny day we went out and she shoot some nice pics of us. we never knew what would happen with the pictures and in some ways we didn't really care as we had a lot of fun and that was rewarding enough. well a few months later the picture appeared at a christian event on a banner. it was nice to see the picture and to have all the flashbacks about the day we went out and had the shoot.

BUT today this was topped. we were sitting at the table and had a nice chat with my sister in israel as one of my brothers, dominik had a flyer of a bigger german super market in his hands. suddenly i saw this familiar face of Jack Piaget and the of Konstanze Döring and then my own one. i was shocked and ripped the flyer out of his hand and really there it was THE PICTURE. and here the proof.
here the cover of the flyer

and here the picture in the top right corner


what a funny thing, there you sit at the table and think "why are there so many flyers of these random supermarkets on the table" and then you find yourself in it. what a strange thing there is an australian photographer who takes pictures of this international crew living on a ship and years later this picture appears in a german supermarket flyer. what a strange world we live in ;)

TeenStreet

it is tuesday a rainy day and i am not happy about the weather. the summer in essen has been terrible for the last weeks and i haven't had one good day on my longboard in ages. sadly it does not look so good for the next days and weeks to come. well i wane share my TeenStreet story with you guys as i have been more then just blessed this time.

i was frightened when i thought about the fact that we only had rain and stupid stupid weather and then that TeenStreet was on the way. can you imagine having a teens conference in germany with more then two thousand teens and then just bad weather? right thats like having marshmallows without a campfire, it just doesn't taste that good.

the fact that i had the chance to go to teen street was a small miracle for me. i had applied for holidays a while ago in order to be able to go to a mouth trip with my church which was a huge hassle to decide. well i wasn't given that holiday so i just tried again for the time of teen street and indeed this time it worked. so i had time to go but in fact that it was only to weeks before teen street i wasn't even sure if they needed someone. the only way to find out was to call them up, so i did. i got hold of barbara who is/was in charge of all the applications. i told her that i was free for teen street and that if they needed someone i would love to help. her response was short clear and came as a shock "sure you can come, we need a M&M". the M&M are the ones with a lot of responsibility which scared me at first but i said yes. as i prepared for teen street i looked forward to be an M&M and my M&M partner seemed really nice. well two days before i left i got a call from the TS office telling me that there was a problem with a different M&M group and that the lady i was supposed to do M&M with was from now on needed in a different group. now i was asked to be a co couch. i was happy about that as well as it meant that i would be a group leader with someone else and that i could count on him in all the programs as i wasn't really prepared for couch. the day i arrived at TS and 5min before we met our teens i was given the information that i would be a couch all by myself with a group of 6 teens. as flexible as i am i said "sure what ever you guys need" seconds later i did freak out a bit as i wasn't sure how it would go. it was a group of 6 younger teens and all of them visited TS for the first time. i felt a lot of pressure as i wasn't sure how to deal with this totally new situation but i soon gave it all up to god and asked him for help and then total peace came over me.

and then it happened from the first evening i met them until the moment i left i was in love with them. 6 young guys in the age of 13 and 14 totally on fire for jesus captured my heart. this teen street was the most emotional and challenging one i ever had. i decided to tell you a little bit more in greater detail about what happened, so here is one of the stories:

all of the guys had a real longing to MEET jesus and to FEEL him. i sometimes think that TS has a rather strong way to push the teens to ask god for a personal moment with him which is amazing but also dangerous as if they don't think that they get this moment they can easily crash and end up disappointed. this did happen with my little brother a few years back and since he has turned away from god. i do not blame TS but i know that it had a huge negative impact on him.so there i was with 6 young christians that longed for a personal touch of jesus and sure me being the couch made me think that i have to do special things for them so that they would feel him. but i decided not to do anything un normal instead i gave it all up to him and asked him to touch them. and then this happened: we sat together for our group time and i started to ask a few questions. suddenly one of them started to cry. at first i wasn't sure if my question triggered it or if something else made him cry. the others all at once stood up and left us to give us time to talk. alone that impressed me so much. they totally understood that i needed time with him alone and that they should better leave and they did all at once without me asking for it i then asked him to tell me the whole story.he then opened up and told me that he had a "situation" with a older Teen and that he got into a little "fight" with him. he was bleeding at the head a bit and without a question totally broken inside and really mad at himself, god and the other teen. SURE he was mad at god. there he was asking for him to reveal himself to him and then this. o how mad it made me how angry i got at the situation. i reacted calm and contacted the other coach and my M&M and we sat together and talked about it and prayed. and there i was at TS having these teens in my group that seek god in such a pressures and holy way that it made me wonder where i was standing with god. i was so at peace with god as i haven't been in a long time at TS and it felt amazing. The thing that happened to my teen made me cry, no really it made me cry in a way i haven't cried in a long time. i started crying when i told the others about what happened i cried when ever i saw the guys and later the day when we prayed again. i was so broken inside and so touched by what happened that it made it impossible for me to stay calm. i cried out of happiness and sadness at once and i couldn't stop.

at the end of the day the teen and i sat together again and we prayed once more sharing thoughts and tears together as we said amen he looked at me and said "semi today i met jesus for real and he touched me" you can imagine that from there on i wasn't able to keep the tears in. i was so touched and moved and happy .
i came to Teenstreet and was taught by 13 andd 14 year olds what it means to be a christian and how to love jesus.

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this is just one of many stores from this years TeenStreet.
thanks for reading
sebi

my name is sebi

i have been called sebi for a very long time now. i have no clue how it originaly started. over the last year i have tried to get away from sebi. i wanted a fresh start, a new beginning so i introduced myself as sebastian all the time. and it worked. people at uni or work started to call me sebastian. at first it was strange but then i got used to it.

now here is the funny thing. a colleague just came in and said "good morning sebi" the fact that she called me sebi meant a lot. in the last weeks i have not really felt...hmm how do i say this?!...accepted. things back home have been a huge blessing but also a huge challenge. it is not easy to move back home after three years ruling my own casle.
in the last weeks life has become really interesting and suddenly very complicated.
the fact that i still have no place to study stopped bothering me. at first i felt like slipping and falling down this deep and black hole called panic but i soon found out that there is a hand that kept catching me. jasper one of my best buddies from the ship said that where ever there is a hole just put the cross in it and walk over. it made me smile when he said that as i kept imagining me putting a HUGE cross in this hole. but he is right. we often face these moments where we stand at the edge and then decide to jump right in. i believe that we shouldn't jump. we should take the cross and put in the hole and just walk right over it.

i am 22 years old, i have no clue what i will be doing next and my name is sebi

Syria Day nine

today a year ago it was a sunday and it was a really special sunday for me.
before i wane write about that sunday i just wane make sure that you guys know that i am in essen in the moment and not in syria. i do understand how all these syria posts got confussing.

sunday:

this was my first sunday of three in syria. i looked forward to getting to church as it seemed crazy to go to church in a muslim country that well yes proclaims religios freedom but then does not practice it. as we made out way trought the trafic, again with a cap, i really felt peace and comfort within me. i had been in syria less then a week but already felt at home and safe. safty seemed given which later on was proven wrong but i won't jump to the end of the story yet.

we arrived at church and the Assembly had already started singing. we entered and i was immediately taken away by the atmosphere. i enjoyed listening to the songs that wwere sung. there is something touching in listening to forain music even if you do not understand what is sung it does touch you because there is something seep within you that you can't explain but that does make it feel special and rewarding. it is the holy spirit within us that leaps for joy as he is the one who understands what is sung by thos who live their lifes for jesus. i was impressed to see how alive the church was and how many young people where there. it was full, like really full and you could see that those who were there (besides those who belonged to the secret police). sure i was not really able to undertsand what was preached but i had my bible with me so i most of the times read my bible or just listened to this beautiful language. alltogether i have to say that these meetings were the once that did fazinated me the most. these christians have to live in constant fear that the secret police would just take them away but still they showed their faith. we weren't the only "workers" that did attend the church so i was pleased to meet some more that belonged to different "companies". god allowed me to see so much of the work that he does in this part of the world. it was a really huge blessing and even now i am still touched by the lifes of those who live in fear and danger but still proclaim jesus their personal savior. living a life in danger and suffering? yes, if it is for jesus.

blessings,
sebi

Syria Day seven

they say that in order to learn a language you have to really get into the sounds and writings of that language. one way for me was to just listen to the people speak. i would watch TV or would try to listen to people talking on the streets or i would listen to the countles meetings we had in our apartment with the friends from the uni.

last one was one of my favourite activities. these meetings were some of THE most cultural shocking events i ever participated. in germany if we would meet to discuss some topic we would sit down drink tea or coffee or even beer and talk about something in a good and ordered way. you would never dare to cut into somebody talking (exceptions made) or dare to raise your voice. the first time they came over i was super exited. it was all so new to me like walking to a child. we prepared dinner and served arabic coffee. it was nice to have the room full of students and to talk about life. only guys came to these meetings and they usually stayed until late at night. for some strange reason they would always sit split up. the christians at one side of the room and the muslims on the other. as the conversation moved on we would always after about an hour hit the "Religion" topic. it was funny to see that no matter how often we met or what topic we talked about we always ended at the same stuff. at first one of the locals translated for me but soon i asked him to stop as i wanted to just listen to this beautiful language. no really it fascinate me so much that i could not stop listening to them even if was deadly tired and just wanted to rest. the syrien culture is such a different world compared to the german almost boring and disciplined way of living. at first the conversation was quiet and peaceful but it wouldn't take long and the volume would be raised up to a point where i expected the house owner or even the police to come in. most of the time i didn't know what they talked about in detail but it wasn't hard to follow along the main points. it was always about jesus, mohammed, god ect. ect. it touched my heart to see how intensed they aruged about something so important and to see how passionate they got about it all. it made me re-think my faith, my believes. seeing them so passionate made me wane be like them. i have to admit that sometimes i was even a bit scared. they would jump up and use their intire body to make a point almost yelling at the other person. the tension rose until a lever where i as a german would have left the conversation long ago but they kept going until suddenly it was all quiet. after a few seconds of silence they would all laugh and hug each other. it amazed me to see how, i don't even know how to say it as i would say angry they got, yelling at each other but then a second later they would "love" each other again. seeing this made me realise many things. i loved these meetings as each time i got to understand a new part of their lives, their culture and their believes. i now could imagine the apostles sitting nex to each other arguing about who is the greates among them up to a point where jesus intervened. and i got to see how christians and muslims could "fight" in a peaceful way.

body language is a huge thing in the arab world and it is so different to ours. also physical touch. in germany and on the ship i was concidered a touchy person which got me into trouble to many times but here in syria i was not even close to that. the guys would hold hands, lay on each others lap, touch each others hair or kiss each other on the cheek all that just to show that they care about each other. as gay as it sounds as amazing it was to watch. i think that we as western people have a weird and almost pathetic way of dealing with physical touch between guys. and as gay as it may sound i got to love the way the syriens are. think about it for a second it is so normal for girls to hold hands or to show affection but for guys it is immediately considered gay. in germany at the uni i once stood with another guy a few meters away from the others looking at a beautiful sunset talking about god. it didn't take long and we heard the others talking about us makind suggestions that we are gay. they only made a joke but it does show the thinking.
if i think about this topic i have to think about david and jonathan. even i if i read the story about them sometimes ask myself if there friendship wasn't a relationship. and here you see that even i am part of this kulture that marks good and healthy friendships between guys as gay and un acceptable. it really does frustrates me as it does mean that i will have a hard time finding somone that i can be as good as a friend as jonathan was to david. they never cared about what others thought but their friendship only worked as both of them thought the same and loved each other the same way.
now i am somone who struggles a lot with guy friendships. in school i was always the guy who stood with the girls or who got invited to their birthdays. i had many so called "girlfriends" but never guyfriends. i struggle to open up with guys and right now there is only one guy in my age that i trust enough to tell him my heart issues (yep its you;) i don't struggle so much to open up with older man but then again its different as these friendships are more like mentor menti relationships. this was and always will be i guess one of my biggest issues and struggles but i am growing and learning and syria played a big role in that change.

back to syria again.
all of these new impressions amazed me but what amazed me the most was to see how god was in everything i experienced and got to see or smell or hear. he was with me always and i never felt alone even if i was parted from all my so close friends from the ship. i really had peace about where i was and what i was doing. jesus was with me where ever i went and he never did let go of my hands. i was in such a peace that even the future events that took place did not get me to a point of danger or frustration rather to a point of happiness and overflowing joy.

jesus was and is with me and he had ans has everything under control. amen

Syria Day six

one of my goals in my time in syria was to visit some of the famous ruins of the monasteries that are spread out all over the country. for example there would be "deirmarmusa" which is located in wadi or the "Cherubim Convent" in Saidnaya or the beautiful "St Simeon's" Monastery close to aleppo. gladly i got to visit some of them and i have to say all of them really impressed me. syria has a HUGE history and it really shocked me to find out that i knew nothing about this country at all.

did you know that syria was the first country in the history of the world where the hunters became gatherers? or that syria was invaded by the frensh. or did you know that syria changed the relligion over three times? as soon as one nation took over the country they would change the relligion. it went forth and back from christianity to the islam. or that in the times of the romans one of the most important trade rouds went directly trough syria?
There is not enough paper for me to write down even only the minor events. i was amazed to see how much history one country can hold and how much all of this history had changed the people and does still impact them.

as paul asked me if i would like to join him fr a trip to St Simeon's i was more than happy to accept. it was my first real trip out of aleppo and i was super exited. we packed up some lunch and left the house rather early in the morning in order to get there before the main turists would. syria is normally not a place where people would just travel to as tourists alone. but is it common to see huge buses that travel around the country filled with elderly people.
we took a cap (of course) to the city border and there waited for a bus that would take us to saint simons. i loved taking the bus in syria. there are two kinds of buses. kind one are these huges buses that would take you from city to city and kind two are the smaller ones that fit maybe 10 people or so. you just hop on where ever you see them and they drop you off again where ever you want. kind of like a big taxi. you can even get the whole bus for yourself. well we jumped into a really crouded one and made our way out of aleppo into the desert. as the streets became more dusty and the villaged smaller and smaller the bus got emptier until only paul and i were left. the bus driver drove us all the way to the top of the hill where saint simon's is located and dropped us off. paul asked him if he could pick us up again in the afternoon and the bus driver gave paul his mobile number (AMAZING). as we entered the Monastery it took my breath away. i am easy to impress but this really blew my mind. i had never seen something more amazing then this. sure i had bin to greece and i saw the huge temples and the old buildings but this also touched my heart. the story behind the intire thing does sound a bit unrealistik but still it hit me.
the Monastery was build in remembrance to Simeon Stylites.

i am to lazy to type down the intire story and i am sure that it would bore you to death if you had to read all of it but if your really interested here the link to wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simeon_Stylites

i loved out time in the Monastery. it was a warm but not to hot morning and paul and i decided to part ways and to spent some time alone with god. it is funny how many thoughts can go trough your mind at once in such a place. there i was sitting in the grass strying to become still before god with all these voices in my mind asking me all these questions. it wasn't until long that the place became really crouded. as a larger group of people past the place where i lay on the ground i could pick up german. and indeed the intire group was a group of germans. there is nothing more you dislike then meeting germans in a foreign country.

i will keep this post short but i will show you some of the pictures i was able to take.