my name is sebi

i have been called sebi for a very long time now. i have no clue how it originaly started. over the last year i have tried to get away from sebi. i wanted a fresh start, a new beginning so i introduced myself as sebastian all the time. and it worked. people at uni or work started to call me sebastian. at first it was strange but then i got used to it.

now here is the funny thing. a colleague just came in and said "good morning sebi" the fact that she called me sebi meant a lot. in the last weeks i have not really felt...hmm how do i say this?!...accepted. things back home have been a huge blessing but also a huge challenge. it is not easy to move back home after three years ruling my own casle.
in the last weeks life has become really interesting and suddenly very complicated.
the fact that i still have no place to study stopped bothering me. at first i felt like slipping and falling down this deep and black hole called panic but i soon found out that there is a hand that kept catching me. jasper one of my best buddies from the ship said that where ever there is a hole just put the cross in it and walk over. it made me smile when he said that as i kept imagining me putting a HUGE cross in this hole. but he is right. we often face these moments where we stand at the edge and then decide to jump right in. i believe that we shouldn't jump. we should take the cross and put in the hole and just walk right over it.

i am 22 years old, i have no clue what i will be doing next and my name is sebi