a while ago i purchased a Lomo Lubitel 166B.it is a old Russian camera but before i start talking about the technical information i will instead show you some of my frist shoots with it.
enjoy ;)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
it's winter
besides all the challenging things that happen these days there are many amazing things that i am truly thankful for. one of them is the fact that it is winter. this is the first winter after my time on board and not having a winter for 2 years is interesting. i would say i have never spent so much interest in the change of sessions. most of my new found joy comes from the fact that i have many friends who never seen the change of sessions. it makes me more aware of my surroundings.
a while ago i purchased a Lomo Lubitel 166B.it is a old Russian camera but before i start talking about the technical information i will instead show you some of my frist shoots with it.
enjoy ;)
a while ago i purchased a Lomo Lubitel 166B.it is a old Russian camera but before i start talking about the technical information i will instead show you some of my frist shoots with it.
enjoy ;)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Life and its ways
i am mad,
mad at myself, mad at life, mad at god and mad at the fact that i am mad at all of this. to be honest i am truly blessed in so many ways and i can't believe that god would bless me in all these ways but then again there is so much anger inside of me, so much frustration and disappointment that makes it hard to even see the blessings. god is teaching us many things and the teaching is not always nice and easy and then when we think we have learned a lesson that took us many days of intense pain we will be tested. and again in these days of testing we will be down and in pain. WHY? why is all of this so hard? to be honest i wish i would be somewhere else in missions in a hardcore situation having to sacrifice all i am and all i have for gods glory risking my life for his sake. this is who i really am and what i wane do but instead i have to wrestle with uni and stupid math stuff which i don't even like.
i am mad that i have to be here.
i know that god has a plan and that he cares so much about me but i do not agree with his plan for my life in the moment. i wane escape and run away, thats how i feel in the moment. i just wane throw all of this away and run to a random place confessing his love.
how can i long for such a thing if i am not even ready to love him in the place i am right now? and again i am mad at myself for even asking all these questions. if this is gods plan for my life it is the best thing that could happen for me right now. i know these things, i do believe me but then again my heart rebels against it BIG TIME. i get to understand more and more the real fight within us.
"it is not about me" how many times have i said this before in my life and how many times have i talked about real sacrifice before? but right now i am not doing what i talked about with so much passion before. i re read some of my older posts and had to ask myself "who wrote all this". i am not who i was months ago. i am a angry and mad person that would like to throw all of this away and run. i wane run away from gods plan.
i will not run but that's not what counts. it is the fact that i wane run that makes me mad. it is the fact that i wane quit gods plan and do what i think is right that makes me furious.
i am the issue, i am the problem and i need jesus.
sebi
mad at myself, mad at life, mad at god and mad at the fact that i am mad at all of this. to be honest i am truly blessed in so many ways and i can't believe that god would bless me in all these ways but then again there is so much anger inside of me, so much frustration and disappointment that makes it hard to even see the blessings. god is teaching us many things and the teaching is not always nice and easy and then when we think we have learned a lesson that took us many days of intense pain we will be tested. and again in these days of testing we will be down and in pain. WHY? why is all of this so hard? to be honest i wish i would be somewhere else in missions in a hardcore situation having to sacrifice all i am and all i have for gods glory risking my life for his sake. this is who i really am and what i wane do but instead i have to wrestle with uni and stupid math stuff which i don't even like.
i am mad that i have to be here.
i know that god has a plan and that he cares so much about me but i do not agree with his plan for my life in the moment. i wane escape and run away, thats how i feel in the moment. i just wane throw all of this away and run to a random place confessing his love.
how can i long for such a thing if i am not even ready to love him in the place i am right now? and again i am mad at myself for even asking all these questions. if this is gods plan for my life it is the best thing that could happen for me right now. i know these things, i do believe me but then again my heart rebels against it BIG TIME. i get to understand more and more the real fight within us.
"it is not about me" how many times have i said this before in my life and how many times have i talked about real sacrifice before? but right now i am not doing what i talked about with so much passion before. i re read some of my older posts and had to ask myself "who wrote all this". i am not who i was months ago. i am a angry and mad person that would like to throw all of this away and run. i wane run away from gods plan.
i will not run but that's not what counts. it is the fact that i wane run that makes me mad. it is the fact that i wane quit gods plan and do what i think is right that makes me furious.
i am the issue, i am the problem and i need jesus.
sebi
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